IT’S NOT RAPE IF IT’S YOUR HUSBAND
SEXUAL VIOLENCE (2012) (Click here to read full CDC facts)
- 1 in 5 women experience rape in their lifetime.
- Approximately 1 in 20 women (5.6%) experienced sexual violence other than rape, such as sexual coercion, unwanted sexual contact, or non-contact unwanted sexual experiences.
- 37.4% of female rape victims were first raped between the ages of 18-24.
- 42.2% of female rape victims were first raped before age 18.
- 29.9% of female rape victims were first raped between the ages of 11-17.
- 12.3% female rape victims first raped were age 10 or younger.
- Among female rape victims, perpetrators were reported to be intimate partners (51.1%), family members (12.5%), acquaintances (40.8%) and strangers (13.8%).
- Rape results in about 32,000 pregnancies each year.
- Among female victims of partner violence who filed a protective order, 68% reported they were raped by their intimate partner and 20% reported a rape-related pregnancy.
1-800-CDC-INFO (232-4636) • email@example.com • www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention
This is my personal list as a survivor of sexual trauma:
- I am 1 of those every 5 women that have been raped.
- I am 1 of those every 20 women that have experienced sexual violence other than rape.
- I am part of the 37.4% of females raped between the ages of 18-24.
- I am the 51.1% of females raped by an intimate partner.
I had 3000 more words to add. I wanted to add my first sexual trauma as a child, sexual trauma by a family member, sexual trauma by rape, sexual trauma by a significant other…my mother told me not to publish it. My own mother is a survivor of sexual trauma, I have family members that are survivors, I have close friends that are survivors, comrades I served with in the military that are survivors, and I know many acquaintances that are also survivors. As a survivor of some version of sexual abuse, mind it be verbal, mental, emotional and or physical…sometimes all four together, you have a great chance of being called a liar, a slut, whore, and or crazy. You could even lose your children to your abuser through the family court system, you could be charged with slander in civil court, you could be ordered by a judge to seek family therapy with your abuser in sake of the children you bore with him, and you may possibly lose part of your mind fighting and waiting to be heard. Why is that? Why is it that some women are held responsible and condemned for the violence they endured? Is it because of those few women that lie about abuse? Not everyone lies. Not every man is an abuser. NOT EVERY WOMAN LIES ABOUT RAPE! My mother doesn’t want me to face my abuser because I will probably lose. How does a victim lose? The same way many mother’s lose custody of their children, many father’s lose rights to their children, why criminals don’t see jail time, why the innocent offenders see jail time, why the bad guys win and the good guys lose…It’s our court system and our government not giving a hoot and letting it happen. Add the cost of lawyers…you don’t have a chance. Police reports and restraining orders? Just pieces of paper. Try yelling out to a crowd while pregnant that your spouse is cheating on you. What do you think will happen? People will shrug because it is normal. How is it normal that a spouse can cheat and put the mother’s life and the child she carry’s life in mortal danger when the very act should be considered a serious crime worth of the harshest punishment? And if you don’t understand that…you are part of the problem. Then yell out to a crowd that your spouse has been raping you. You may get a sympathetic pat on the back, most likely they will show no emotion to your obvious cry for help. What spouse would rape their own wife anyway?! She has to be crazy. We live in a messed up world that isn’t going to change until we force it to change.
One Reason Why False Rape Allegation Statistics Are So High
Men, even good men, believe women lie about rape. There’s this myth that runs amok saying that some enormous proportion of rape accusations are just women lying to get attention, or revenge, or to hide their summer fling from mommy and daddy. And they believe it without question.
When male friends toss that grenade at me, I toss it back by asking if they know what the percentage is. “Fifty percent,” they’ll say, or above, depending on which MRAs their stats are coming from.
“It’s two to eight percent,” I say, and I need to remember to never do this when they’re walking or have something in their mouths, because the good ones are always staggered, and they always gasp. “But even those numbers are on the high side.”
I don’t need to go in to detail with the good ones. I don’t need to do more than remind them what actually happens to women who report. They realize immediately that very few people would be so motivated by some other factor that they would willingly subject themselves to the hell that is rained down upon rape victims. And then I remind them that while our culture often makes reporting a rape worse than the rape itself, when it comes to male victims, it’s damned near impossible to report at all. And if you’re a trans* person? Hell doesn’t even begin to describe it. Once we have finished that brief survey of Rape Culture Today, the good ones never spout nonsense statistics again.
For those who stubbornly wish to believe that bitches be lyin’, I can point them at studies. I have before and will again. But in the future, I will first make them chew on this “false” rape allegation statistic until their teeth break.
Now, some of them will spit out that report along with their shattered teeth and flap their bleeding gums at me: “That’s just an anecdote.” And that is true. It is just one data point behind the 2-8%. Since we are Good Skeptics™, we know to look beyond anecdotes.
So let me add in a study of police attitudes toward rape victims. It would seem EEB isn’t alone, then. And if we could factor in the victims who never reported at all because of shit like this, that “false” rape allegation statistic would drop like a rock. Since they don’t, the statistics are skewed, making “false” allegations look more prevalent.
Now add the horrific treatment victims experience from defense attorneys who believe they’re scum. I can tell you from experience this can be worse than the rape. It can be a form of torture, and like torture victims, some rape victims will recant just to make the pain stop. Magically, their allegation is now “false.” But they’re no less raped, and the rapist is no less a sexual predator.
Add in the fact that some rapists have the lock on society, and can crush their victims. If their victims had the courage to report, they’ve soon got their buddies to sweep the crime under the rug. And another several ticks are added in the “false” rape allegation column.
Add in children who receive such a terrifying reaction to their attack that they recant just to protect themselves. More “false” rape allegations.
What about victims who aren’t supported by friends and family because many cultures make it easier to believe the victims are filthy, disgusting, crazy liars rather than people suffering from sexual assault? I think you know what happens to the statistics by now.
Add in the fact that some police departments don’t make a distinction between “reports that are actually, genuinely, provably false” and “reports that can’t be prosecuted due to statue of limitations, lack of evidence, or some other reason, but no doubt the victim was assaulted.” Both numbers end up counting under “false” allegations, although a sizable percentage weren’t false at all.
Add in about a trillion circumstances I haven’t remembered to include. Compare that to the enormous number of rapes and sexual assaults.
The reality is that false rape allegations are a tiny bit of flotsam on a sea of rape. Even if that 2-8% number were accurate, it would still be far too small to use to discount rape allegations out of hand. The fact that even that tiny percentage is inflated by cases like EEB’s should ensure that every decent human being treat victims’ reports as provisionally true. The idea that most or even many rape allegations are false is an extraordinary claim requiring extraordinary evidence. Those who continue to insist otherwise have forfeited any right to be considered good people.
The hashtag #YESALLWOMEN sparked my interest in creating artwork depicting how I felt as a child being sexually abused and how I felt as an adult survivor of sexual abuse. I have been seeing a therapist off and on since 2004 and diagnosed with PTSD because of my past trauma. As I have aged, my panic attacks and anxiety has gotten worse even though I am still seeking therapy. My therapist retired a few months ago and before she left she told me that I am now ready to move on from this kind of therapy. What other kind of therapy is there I wondered. She referred me to see a sexual trauma therapist that only deals with victims of sexual abuse. Even after 10 years of therapy I am still afraid to deal with my traumatic past. Well, I am going. I am going to take that step in healing, I need to heal, I need to let go, and I need to be mentally healthy for my family and most of all for me. I am sure more art will appear through this journey of mine…
NO PRISON TIME FOR INDIANA MAN CONVICTED OF DRUGGING, RAPING WIFE
- An Indianapolis man, convicted of repeatedly drugging and raping his wife, gets no prison time
- A judge tells an Indianapolis rape victim that she needs to ‘forgive’ her husband for raping her
Boardman, a small-business owner, told a detective on May 10, 2011, that her husband, David Wise, had been drugging her for at least three years and raping her in her sleep — and that she had found video clips on his phone.
Boardman, 36, is particularly outraged by what Marion Superior County Judge Kurt Eisgruber said to her in court.
Other experts wondered how the sentence would be received by other women who have been raped who want to come forward.
Any of my personal writing to this post doesn’t reflect on any outside party’s views that is linked to this blog. My artwork is my own reflection of abuse. If you would like to email me: NE.Perkins@yahoo.com / Subject Line: Sexual Abuse
Please don’t bash victims of abuse, stand next to one and fight for their right to be heard and their right for justice against their abuser. Thanks.